When you have a panic attack
Written by me and all copyrights reserved
Neuvillette was not the best at dealing with human emotions, they were quite difficult for him to navigate, but he always tried his best.
As difficult as it was, he wanted to be able to integrate himself with humans. So that meant being able to calm them down, to see them in sadness and in happy moments, and right now there was nothing happy about what was going on. In fact it seemed to be quite a miserable moment for you, as you were having a very difficult time.
He could only look at you in sadness and pity, as he saw how you were crying. And then, he moved close to you, holding out his hand. "Y/N, please, you need to get up, you can't keep doing this to yourself."
You were not responding, just crying into your knees. And that's when Neuvillette knew it was probably a lot more complex than he imagined. So instead of just waiting for you like that, he sat down beside you, and just wrapped an arm around you gently, letting you lean against him, as he just waited and waited, but while holding you, since he did not want you to feel all alone, he never wants you to feel alone.
And for the most part, he's been doing his best to avoid you having that feeling, and for the most part it was a very good job that he was doing. But right now, he just felt so worried, as to why you were panicking and crying like this, you were trembling, and he had no idea why you were so scared.
"Look, Y/N, I don't know what happened, but I can't help if you just don't let me. I need to be able to help somehow. Please, just talk to me, Y/N. Please."
He begged you, and you could hear how desperate he was, as he cried into his chest a little bit more, he was just patient with you, and kept reassuring you that you're fine, you will be fine. No matter how long you have to wait, no matter how scary things may seem, he will be there for you, and you will not feel alone again, he won't let that happen. And right now, as he just held you gently, he kisses your cheek.
"I'm right here for you, and I'm not going to go away no matter what. So whatever it is you're going through, and whether you tell me or not, I'm going to be there for you, Y/N. I can promise you that, at the very least."
He said. You could tell how protective he was feeling from the way he said it, from the way he gripped you tightly in his arms, from the way he refused to let go. He just wanted to be there for you, and to be with you, and seeing you like this, it broke him in many ways.
He never wanted to see you sad, or upset, or in pain, and right now, you were all three, and he had no idea why, and that alone was devastating to him. Just what was he doing wrong? What weren't you telling him? All those questions in his head, and yet he had no answers, not a single one. So, as he held you close, and you could only hope that you would be alright soon, and that his efforts will not be in vain, he's more worried about you to be honest, not the amount of effort he's given.
He just wants to know if he's doing something useful. And soon as you quiet down completely, you wrap your arms back around him, and cuddle a little bit closer, and that's when he knows that whatever he's doing, there is progress right now, and you seem to be wanting it. So he's staying, he's not going anywhere now.
He just wants to be with you, and if it makes you happy, then that's a better motive. And soon, you start speaking up, holding his hand gently. "Neuvillette, I'm sorry it worried you. I was panicking about some things, I was terrified, and I guess it took me a time to register your presence, and also to calm down from my crying. After all of that, it was a lot to deal with, and it must have been quite tiring for you. I still can't believe that you stayed by my side, despite how awful it must have been."
"Darling, please, don't speak of yourself that way. You can never be tiring to me, or horrible in any way. I want to see you happy, I want to make you happy, and that's just one of the many goals that I have, and I must do my best to achieve that. Whatever makes you happy, I must ensure it happens. But I want to ask you something, Y/N. I need to know what happened, and why you behaved that way. Whatever happened, it must have been truly bad and upsetting. I don't aim to be overbearing or to impose on you, but I only want to help, and to be able to share your burdens. If you do not want to tell me, then it is indeed your choice, and something I cannot change. It is only a request, and you do not have to abide by it. But please, at the very least, try to consider it for me." He said, and after some hesitation, you nodded, hugging him close.
You are still on the fence on whether or not you will actually consider this, but at the very least, you could tell him that you will give this a chance. You are not sure if you will actually tell him everything, but you will try for his sake, if only not to have to see him be so worried, when he too deserves to know the truth, as your lover, and as a person who cares about you. And with that, it was set aside.
You didn't have to say anything at a time you didn't want to, or at all. But he just needed to know, at least a little bit, to be able to help in any way that he can.
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